Today is not a day in which I’ll move mountains.
Even though I want to.
Instead I’ll shuffle endless sky scrapers of school paperwork,
Message teachers,
Catch up on laundry,
As my work waits.
The hydrangeas to prune,
The trays of plants to order.
I could lie,
And say I’ve mastered my mindset.
That I live in the moment and therefore am perfectly zen about these setbacks.
But in THIS moment, can we just cut the crap?
Can I admit my actual mindset is best described as “cranky.”
And sometimes “resentful.”
So if you, like me, feel behind before you’ve even begun, today may you remember this.
When your time comes, you will surely rise up and move those mountains.
If that time never comes - because sometimes it doesn’t - may you find a different way around this impasse.
And if even that fails,
And you’re left standing, no way forward?
May you find the clarity to sit and rest,
Without internalizing today’s obstacles as a long list of personal failures.
That fearful voice inside,
Whispering that this moment defines you?
Does not speak the truth.
The you who CAN. The one who perseveres and exercises good judgment.
That you remains.
Your life is more than this stack of paper, this pile of dishes, these unwashed clothes.
Given enough time,
Something will shift.
The balance will return.
You will find a way.
(And friend, if you feel a little cranky and resentful along the way, I’ll be the last to judge you).
Oh, I remember this well. My kids are grown now, and while I can't always do what I want when I want to, it happens a lot more frequently than it used to. And I have grandkids to play with! A lot of what you're feeling just comes with the territory. I read every book on productivity I could get my hands on, and none of the systems or formulas worked. They were all written for business people and didn't seem to consider the needs or dilemmas of parents at all. I finally realized that the "good" days, the ones where I actually made progress, were the exception, not the rule. Hang in there!